3.5.h ABCD Tool for the Difficult Conversation

Background_Icon.png

After you manage your reactions and prepare to approach your team member, you will need to learn how to conduct a difficult conversation. Prepare your message by applying the DEAR communication strategy. The DEAR strategy is a mnemonic that helps to frame what message you want to convey when you are having a difficult conversation with someone.

DEAR stands for (11):

 

  • Describe what was seen or heard
  • Explain the impact on you or the team
  • Ask for their perspective
  • Request what could be done differently in the future

After you have prepared yourself using DEAR, prepare to approach the conversation using the ABCD tool (3).

When attending to yourself, the other person and the environment ask: What am I aware of within myself? Is there anything I can do to prepare myself for this conversation? Next consider the other person: What is the other person experiencing? Are they able to talk? Then consider the environment: What is happening around us right now? Is this the right place to talk?

When you bridge the conversation, ask if it is a good time to talk? Introduce the topic and invite a conversation.

When you comment, use the DEAR strategy to structure your message. Then check for understanding.

Lastly, when you are developing a relationship and plan, acknowledge impact on other person. Work with them to establish a follow-up plan, or your preferred feedback loop.

 

abcd-final2.jpg